How to follow up when someone has gone quiet
They were interested. Then nothing — a week, then two. You have already sent one “just checking in” and it went nowhere.
Why this one gets stuck
Silence carries no information, so you supply it yourself, and what you supply is almost always rejection. That guess leaks into the message: it either apologises for existing or overcorrects into pressure. What actually gets replies is a follow-up that makes it cheap and easy for them to say where things stand — including “not now”.
What actually makes it land
- Give them a one-word exit. Explicit permission to say no gets more replies than pressure does.
- Add something new — a date, a change, a piece of information — so the message has a reason to exist beyond your anxiety.
- Say what you will do next, so silence stops being a move they have to make.
What to leave out
- ✕“Just following up” with nothing attached. It asks them to do the work of restarting the conversation.
- ✕Guilt. “I know you're busy, but…” lands as a complaint, and complaints do not get answered.
- ✕A fourth attempt. If two have gone unanswered, close it and leave the door open.
Two messages you can send
The first invites a reply. The second closes the loop without burning anything.
The one that gets an answer
Hi Marta — following up on the proposal from the 12th. No pressure at all: if the timing isn't right, just reply “not now” and I'll stop chasing. If it is, I have space to start in March.
The one that closes it
Hi Marta — I'll assume this isn't the right moment and leave it there, so it stops sitting in your inbox. If it comes back around later, you know where to find me. Good luck with the rest of the quarter.
Yours is never quite the example.
The examples above are a starting point. SAY works from your actual situation — the thread, the person, the history — and writes the message for it. Say it out loud, badly, and it takes it from there.
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